whitescalesbigmouth: (Saft - ...I had no idea)
[personal profile] whitescalesbigmouth
I guess it's alright if I talk about it...I mean I haven't really talked about it since it happened...That "it" being "him" being Ash...

I miss him. I hate not knowing he's around to make me smile and the truth is Ash is the only person other than Touga I've really smiled for. Ash knows me better than anyone anymore and I want him to know that I knew whilst he was here and not with her...*Sigh* I mean we've been through so much together since we met...that whole thing with that crazy biker guy, Bruhim...even helping me cope with what I did to little Sophia's parents...it hasn't been easy.

Sometimes I sit back and think would my life be any easier if I wasn't half dragon, I mean would I still be so bothered about heading up to the land of the dead to find that bastard who murdered Touga in the first place...am I really being stupid about this whole thing? And sometimes I wonder if that's why Ash left...because he knew what I was capable of...I mean there's thousands of reasons he's probaly better off with Sheila, she's prettier, smarter...heh hell I bet she even knows how to...well you know. That stuff I'm not really all that good with..I keep having to remind myself  I'm still a kid sometimes, I'm hardly what you'd call a mature woman now am I?

But I do want him here...with me, I want to rest my head on his shoulders and have him tell me that everything's going to be ok in the end like it always is....but without him here that's not a possibility is it?

I just...love him so much and...I really, REALLY want him back.


Date: 2008-03-06 12:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] madeforabuse.livejournal.com
So you were in love with Ash, Miss Saft?

I mean... I guess I always assumed as much. But you never really wanted to open up about any of this stuff before.

Maybe it's none of my business...

Date: 2008-03-06 12:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] swordandscales.livejournal.com
...I think so, I mean...I-it's hard for me the only other person I've ever looked up to as much as I did with Ash was Touga...Maybe it's for the best yanno? Maybe I'm just not supposed to be with anyone...Perhaps I was just always meant to be a loner.

Date: 2008-03-06 12:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] madeforabuse.livejournal.com
But I thought you said you were with Mr. Zabel now...?

I wonder what being in love is like... My master used to say he loved me. I never really knew what he meant. Maybe as a son? Or as a student?

Date: 2008-03-06 12:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] swordandscales.livejournal.com
...C'mon Gerald, even you've got to admit me and Zabel aren't even really that close...if anything we fight alot and I push him away more than anyone...You and Lockheed are the only people I feel I can talk to.

Love? *Blush*...it's a nice feeling, It's a nice warm feeling from deep inside of you that you don't want to be without 'cause when it's gone you feel colder than you ever did before you found love in the first place...Heh great now I'm sounding like some kinda poet or something, Kinda silly huh?

Date: 2008-03-06 12:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] madeforabuse.livejournal.com
I must admit, I'm not sure why Mr. Zabel is even part of the group. He doesn't seem to be much of a guide... I... I suppose I just assumed that you and he were... close.

I like poetry. My master used to write a lot, before he... changed.

Date: 2008-03-06 01:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] swordandscales.livejournal.com
Oh Gerald...

Is there anything I can do?

Date: 2008-03-06 01:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] madeforabuse.livejournal.com
Hmm? Do?

I'm okay, Miss Saft, really I am. I just have a tendency to reflect out loud.

I believe love - even when lost - should be cherished. My master loved me, and that meant something. It still means something.

I don't think love can just be destroyed and forgotten. It exists forever, even before it is born into our hearts. Meeting the person the love was meant for merely opens our eyes to something that has always been there.

I'm... I'm not very good at expressing myself. Not like this anyway.

Date: 2008-03-06 01:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] swordandscales.livejournal.com
Oh no...I think it sounds beautiful, especcially the way you put it.

Date: 2008-03-06 11:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] madeforabuse.livejournal.com
Beautiful...? Really? *blush*

I... I...

Maybe I should go and get supplies.

Date: 2008-03-06 11:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] swordandscales.livejournal.com
Want me to come along? You know...just in case?

Besides...I am a little hungry.

Date: 2008-03-06 11:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] madeforabuse.livejournal.com
I suppose it wouldn't hurt to make a mutual excursion...

Would Mr. Zabel like to come along also?

Date: 2008-03-06 12:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] swordandscales.livejournal.com
You'd have to ask him.

Date: 2008-03-06 01:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] undeadrawkstar.livejournal.com
Oi! Just because we ain't where we're goin', it doesn't mean I ain't takin' you there!

Don't go castin' aspershins... Or whatever they're called.

Date: 2008-03-06 01:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] swordandscales.livejournal.com
That's not what he meant Zabel. I know you're taking us there.


Aren't you?

Date: 2008-03-06 01:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] undeadrawkstar.livejournal.com
Course I am! Smell that air! You can prac'tickly taste the corpses. There're lots of those in the Land o' the Dead, y'know. Can't hardly take a step without crushing some poor dead soul's trachea.

Not that they can complain about it, mind. Still, you gotta feel bad. Especially me. It's like they're kinda disabled, what with me bein' dead and walkin' around like this.

Yep. The Land of the Dead could benefit from some wheelchair ramps.

Date: 2008-03-06 01:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] swordandscales.livejournal.com
...I swear sometimes you just spout out whatever crap you can think of at the last second.

We're totally lost...


Date: 2008-03-06 11:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] undeadrawkstar.livejournal.com
Typical bird. Can't trust a bloke's sense of direction.

Next she'll be wantin' to ask for directions.

"Excuse me, mate, is this the way to the Land of the Dead?"

Yer 'aving a laugh, Saft.

Date: 2008-03-06 11:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] swordandscales.livejournal.com

You can be such a asshole sometimes.

Date: 2008-03-06 11:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] undeadrawkstar.livejournal.com
Oh? So it's only *sometimes*, now?

At least our relationship is showin' some signs of improvement, I s'pose. Gotta be thankful f'small blessings.

Date: 2008-03-06 11:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] madeforabuse.livejournal.com
Relationship...? *blush*

Date: 2008-03-06 11:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] swordandscales.livejournal.com
*Sigh* C'mon Gerald...Let's leave the rockstar to his own self vanity whilst his "friends" actually do something useful other than slack off.

Date: 2008-03-06 01:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] madeforabuse.livejournal.com
A-ah! I'm sorry, Mr. Zabel, I meant no offence...


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Saft Nivalis Goldenscale

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